Unlike most of the people on here. i do not have any guts to post a video because i am scared if people from school will see so i would like to stay anon.
but here it goes.
im 15 and a sophomore in high school.
i hate feeling weak. i refuse to cry in front of people so i usually do it before i sleep or while i shower. i also cannot watch my friends cry because i have no way of comforting them because i have never felt comforted like that.
i have lost two best friends since i started high school last year. i feel as if i am going to end up with none eventually. they chose to stop talking to me and i will never be told why.
seeing them post pictures on facebook with their friends and friends they left me to be with instead causes me to break down.
the worst part is one of them was a guy and i liked him for the longest time and i did get over it but never said anything because i knew nothing would happen. with him ending our almost 3 year friendship kills me inside.
i hate my body. i thinks it not proportional and just gross. i go to the gym everyday and make sure i eat less but try to stay healthy.
people know me for being my brothers sister. which is good because i meet knew people and gain some friends, but bad because i know some of them like him more even if they only met him once and he doesnt even go to high school anymore.
i tend to be the girl who believes in fairytales and happily ever afters but some part of me knows i will never experience it. i have created a little second life which i call my fake future when i am alone and talk to myself and the people in that fake life.
i always am the planner with my friends but it seems like they always have something better to do then just spend sometime with me.
i have never had a legit boyfriend or hookedup. which makes me wonder if i ever will and if they see me like i see myself in the mirror, ugly and pathetic.
i love my family, but they never seem to understand me. my brother and i are the first ones to be born in the US and they just dont understand how hard it is being a teenager around the stuck up people in school and how we cant be like they were, which apparently was perfect.
i know i cant complain because so many people go through much more terrible things in life, but i just wish things were the same in 8th grade. best friends. always happy. and not criticizing myself whenever possible.
i laugh and smile whenever i can just because when people think im happy it makes me a little happier inside. and i just love smiling and making others smile.
it won't let me submit a video because it says i must agree with the terms of submission, but i already pressed the check box for that. i tried submitting it 5 times but it still comes up with the same error :[
i don’t really feel comfortable telling you my name and url sorry, but here i go;
my dad’s in jail. he raped me when i was thirteen. and i fell pregnant, i had the baby but i put it up for adoption because i couldn’t stand having a kid at this age and especially when it’s my father’s and i don’t necessary agree with abortion :\ i guess it’s my fault really, he tells me all the time im beautiful and i wish i wasn’t beautiful so he didn’t have to do that to me.
i get into fights alot , i put my mum in hospital once :(
i’ve attempted suicide but my bestfriend was there to save me.
the only person i trust is liam (my bestfriend) he’s always there for me and i wouldn’t be myself if it weren’t for him <3
i fall for guys easily
that’s all for now but when i get some confidence i will put up a video :)
*******Hey everyone read this it's IMPORTANT******
Okay so earlier this week I made a post telling you not to follow a certain blog it turns out that I was mistaken. [my bad sorry guys!!!] They were not trying to copy at all and I checked out their tumblr and it’s actually pretty cool!!!!! You guys should deff check it out!!! It’s a place for all kinds of secrets and you won’t feel alone there either!!
<iframe src=”http://player.vimeo.com/video/14891949” width=”400” height=”300” frameborder=”0”></iframe><p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/14891949”>secrets/confessions for tumblr</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/user4709564”>carey horn</a> on <a href=”http://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a>.</p>